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I already added some indexes on your database table, it should be faster now.
here is the code
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_participants` ADD INDEX(`id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_participants` ADD INDEX(`chat_id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_participants` ADD INDEX(`user_id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_activity` ADD INDEX(`id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_activity` ADD INDEX(`chat_id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat_activity` ADD INDEX(`user_id`);
ALTER TABLE `jmjwb_community_chat` ADD INDEX(`user_id`);
I am sorry that feature is not finished yet, because we focus on chatbar, that delete feature and time on chat will be related with charbar.. hope will be released on 4.4.6 or 4.5
Don't know how far in development in that new feature have you gone, but I don't think you should delete conversation. Better way is to just "hide" it from end user until new message from same "friend" comes in. That way, you achieve "delete" feature by hiding it, but also keep history of all conversations between those two users, which is always good IMHO. So, drop down menu item can be called "Archive chat" or even "Delete chat". Maybe somewhere can be displayed list of all Archived/Deleted chat sessions?