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To make top menu visible, you must enable it from modules an don't forget to publish all the menu item :) but to make your top menu looks like jomsocial demo page, it's about your website template.. :)
Jomsocial only a component for your Joomla site, but to create a great website layout and design, it's all about your template :)
yes, this is because your default template and you don't enabled top menu module yet :) (as far as i know joomla default template top menu is very weird :)
i suggest you to find a new free template or buy a new template like our socialize template that have top menu on there :)
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