My point is:

A menu entry is in JomSocial somewhere, and I can't delete it. No doubt if I totally rebuild my site and recreate a JS menu, it will disappear. That is not something I have time to do. It MUST be stored somewhere and being picked up by your software for display. I would like to just get rid of it. That;s the point.

What I sent you - and thought you asked for - was a dump of all the SQL databases in my system.

John McCall

Hi John,
I have a same view as you are thinking. In that case I have searched at database according to your given cpanel access.
but did n't find it. That's why I told you to have another copy of the site where we can disable/uninstall other third party extension
and cross check.
As you have several thirdpary extension installed, it is difficult to find out the problem through out the code. It may need to download whole site and check back and forth. I would suggest you to hire from our fellow developer www.jomsocial.com/jomsocial-developers
and fix the issue.