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you must create new menu item "Customize My Page" (index.php?option=com_community&view=profile&task=editPage) at your main menu:
1. at joomla menu manager create menu item for main manu
2. menu type Community > Edit My Page
Or
Socialize by default will always hide jomsocial menu toolbar. you can unhide it by rename/remove toolbar.index.php at /templates/socialize/html/com_community/ (as screenshot)